Would You Marry Your Spouse Again

March 18, 2022 Post a Comment

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Rarely, practice you lot hear someone say they desire to remarry their ex. After all, they are divorced and presumably accept moved on. But in that location are times that remarriage does occur. In fact, according to ane report, as many as ten% to 15% of all divorced couples volition reconcile.

In those cases, the couples may have realized that the grass really wasn't greener on the divorced side. Or, maybe time did heal all wounds. Any the reason, remarriage between divorced couples does happen on occasion. If you lot're thinking of rekindling the romance with an ex-spouse, there are some disquisitional things to consider get-go.

Why Divorced Couples Get Remarried

While the reasons for getting remarried vary from couple to couple, many people realize afterwards the anger and frustration dissipate that they actually miss their former spouse, especially if they were married for whatsoever length of time.

Then, they start to wonder what they could have washed differently or if the matrimony could have been salvaged. Some people even wonder if they made a mistake. Here are some other possible reasons divorced couples consider remarrying one some other.

Experience some personal growth that led them back to the relationship
Forgive and/or forget the things their ex did wrong
Maintain a positive relationship with their ex'south family
Miss the familiarity they had with their ex
Realize single life is unsatisfying and hard
Realize they're still in love with their ex
Recognize they divorced impulsively or for stupid reasons

Things to Consider Earlier Remarrying

Before you remarry your ex, you lot need to exist certain you are both ready for the piece of work involved because it won't be piece of cake. And, statistically speaking, the odds are against you.

For instance, second marriages often end in divorce more often than showtime marriages. In fact, according to Psychology Today "... a whopping threescore% of remarriages fail. And they do then even more quickly; later an average of x years, 37% of remarriages have dissolved versus thirty% of first marriages."

Points to Remember

If you and your ex-spouse are committed to the idea of getting back together, you lot need to call back these three things:

Realize that the odds are against you.
Have things slowly.
Prioritize seeing a marriage counselor and taking a wedlock education form.

Making the Second Time Around Work

If you are committed to remarrying your erstwhile spouse, you should plan on existence in a loving human relationship for a minimum of a yr before tying the knot again. During that time, you need to address the reasons why y'all divorced in the first place. After all, you are marrying the aforementioned person.

While you lot both may accept experienced some personal growth since the divorce, in that location all the same volition be things about your ex that badger you. Here are some suggestions to meliorate your chances of having a successful second wedlock to one another.

Get Counseling

Spousal relationship counselors concur that you must learn from your marital history or the 2 of you are doomed to repeat the same mistakes. Unresolved and unfinished business will resurface. Honestly look at what caused your divorce.

If the marriage failed because of finances, exist clear on how you volition spend money. If problems revolved around parenting issues, work this conflict out first. If the divorce was due to infidelity, process the unfaithfulness, forgive, and rebuild trust. You also may want to read a union book together and accept a spousal relationship workshop or course.

The more than piece of work you do on the front cease of your human relationship, the better off y'all volition be after you lot remarry.

Edifice a new foundation takes fourth dimension and effort. You take to confront past issues that caused conflict and learn new ways of interacting.

Take a Personal Inventory

When divorce happens, no one is blameless. Fifty-fifty if infidelity was the primary reason for the divorce, there are bound to exist other bug in the marriage. And while those bug do not excuse the unfaithfulness nor can they be blamed for it, they nevertheless need to be addressed.

Acknowledge to your role and responsibility in what went incorrect in your first marriage. If you can't readily do this, you will go along to struggle in this union. Yous likewise need to proceed things completely honest betwixt the two of yous. There should exist no game playing, no mind reading, and no unspoken expectations. Share with one another your hopes, dreams, and expectations.

Consider Your Children

Getting back together just for the sake of the kids is a bad thought. Get back together because you love (and like) one some other and want to be together again. If you lot practice accept children, don't let them know you're dating once again for a while. They could get their hopes up that yous will reconcile.

These hopes also could put pressure on yous to remarry fifty-fifty if things are not going as well equally you would like.

Be Realistic

Information technology is important to recognize that the first marriage is dead. As hard every bit this may be, do not allow that ghost hurt your new union. Don't dwell on the mistakes you fabricated in the previous marriage. Instead, focus on your future together.

As well, make sure yous have reasonable expectations. At the core, you will be marrying the aforementioned person. Some of the old, annoying habits will still exist there. And, if you discover that things aren't right, trust your gut and end the relationship.

A Discussion From Verywell

Any you do, don't rush into a second marriage with your ex-spouse. Developing trust and making a spousal relationship work requires a strong commitment by both of you lot. Have time to understand the dynamics of your relationship more than fully before getting married again.

Cheers for your feedback!

Verywell Listen uses just high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to back up the facts inside our manufactures. Read our editorial procedure to larn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Doherty, WJ, Willoughby, BJ, Peterson, B. Interest in marital reconcilation among divorcing parents. Family Court Review. 2011; 49(2): 313-321. doi:10.1111/j.1744-1617.2011.01373.x
Plauche, HP. Why nosotros chose to stay together: Qualitative interviews with separated couples who chose to reconcile. J Divorce & Remarriage. 2016; 57(5): 317-337. doi:10.1080/10502556.2016.1185089
Marano, HE. Divorced? Don't even think of remarrying until you read this! Psychology Today. 2000.
Pull a fast one on, We. Remarried couples in premarital education: Does the content friction match participant needs? J Divorce & Remarriage. 2014; 55(iv): 276-299. doi:10.1080/10502556.2014.901841

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Source: https://www.verywellmind.com/is-a-second-time-around-realistic-2300932

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